


But You Saw No Fault

by sareli



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (arthur already knows), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Finds Out, Episode: s05e03 The Death Song of Uther Pendragon, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 19:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sareli/pseuds/sareli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur knows. He thinks he's known for a while now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But You Saw No Fault

You take one look at Merlin, shrinking against the wall, and you think you already know what your father was trying to tell you.

What else would bring that kind of fear to his frozen spirit's eyes?

What else would bring that kind of fear to Merlin’s eyes?

The horn is in danger of splintering beneath your fingers, you grip it so tightly. You hold onto like it is only thing keeping you there. If you let go, you might just turn to dust like your dead father, and where would Camelot be then?

What's more, Merlin is looking at you like he thinks you are about to do something drastic.

You're no fool. He knows you can send his whole world to pieces in a few spare moments, and he's hoping desperately that you won't do it. Does he really believe that you would turn on him over this? That you would so heartlessly destroy the foundations he has so carefully laid, the delicate stone within which he has so painstakingly encased his deepest secret.

He looks at you, terrified, and you want to tell him. You want to tell him everything, that you know everything, that it’s okay.

But you _can’t_. How can you say something out loud that you still haven’t truly reconciled within yourself? How do you say words that you don't understand?

Inside your head, you try, because he thinks you're going to break him, and if you don't do it first, he'll do it for you.

_Merlin is- Merlin has- Merlin was- MerlinMerlinMerlin._

You can’t speak, your throat is closed, so you try to say it with your eyes, but he doesn’t understand. You’re just not _good_ at speaking with the eyes alone, even when Merlin’s concerned. (Doesn’t he know how _different_ he is? How _much_ he is?)

But you’re not especially adept at using words either. What you have left are actions, so you surge forward, the horn clattering on the stone floor. He shrinks away from you, thinking the worst of you and your heart twists because you would _never_.

The back of his head hits the wall, but not because you threw it there. You capture his lips with yours, trying desperately to tell him, to let him know that there is nothing he could do to make you turn away from him.

He gasps into your kiss and it takes him less than a second to reciprocate. (After all, it’s not as if neither of you've ever done this before.)

 _I know_ , you try to whisper with against the seam of his lips. _It’s all right,_ you try to say with a breath into his open mouth. _I won’t leave you,_ you hope he absorbs as you tangle your tongue with his.

But deep down, you know that nothing you can do will make him understand. 


End file.
